Diary of an overdramatic teenager (bear with me, pls)

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10th February 2025, Monday

Hello, my dear mates and welcome to my diary. Never been a fan of diaries actually, but I'm just bored af and need smth to do so I can continue procratinating on my studies (yay)! Btw, abt study, I actually had an oral History test today (not happy at all lmao): basically, my professor picks ppl to interrogate by numbers on the book's pages and, Idk how, she just continuously picks the number 13 (=me). I mean, am I just doomed by the narrative?! Not that I was unprepared, but dammit bruv (I got 8.5/10, sorry but I'm too lazy to convert it in liberty eagles or whatever grading system you have in your country. Just know it's a decent vote -although like 90% of my classmates agreed I should've got a bit more-). Anygays (I've been reading too many wattpad ffs lately, Ik... dammit I'm cringe lmao) I'm doing pretty fine. Oh fuck I have a Latin test tomorrow. BUT Idc I'll study later (currently 6.30 pm, spoiler: my ass is NOT gonna study later). In general, I had a good day: I played boules during PE (Ik it's strange, but Ig it's kind of a traditional sport where I live??? Idk man, my PE teacher is highkey kinda special if you know what I mean...), I had a terrible Maths lesson (don't get me wrong, I love Maths, but if there's something I fucking hate it's STATISTICS: bro, it's so fucking boring I've literally lost minddd -I DESPISE BORING THINGS AND ALWAYS WILL: Idc if smth's difficult as long as it interests me, but for fuck's sake I couldn't give a shit less abt statistics bc I learnt that in 4th/5th grade during Covid making graphs of the deaths, infected and the cases in intensive care-), I praised my クリストさま (Christ-sama) and マリアさま (Mary-sama) prayer cards not to get interrogated in History (didn't work, but the cards actually amused my techer lol) aaand that's pretty much it. Also, I've practised card throwing (watching HxH and Hisoka, I remembered I used to do it last Summer, so I've decided to see if I can improve more -it was actually an alternative to shooting w/ guns and rifles, bc my mother STILL won't let me do it even though I've been asking for it since I was 7/8 y.o.-). Hope y'all are doing well to and thank you for reading this (but, like, really, tysmmm) and have a good day!!! <3

11th February 2025, Tuesday

Good afternoon everyone! I want to jump off a cliff :D! No but seriously, I just feel so overwhelmed by homework, study and school and I hate it sooo much I'm so fucking DONE (fr, Ancient Greek is EXHAUSTING dammit). Did you know that here in Italy, today, the Sanremo Music Festival begins? I hate Sanremo Festival so much and most of the singers there are actually just garbage (sorry, but I personally don't like them and they just continuously get involved in drama and stuff idgaf abt). BUT I have to watch it because even the roaches in your apartment watch Sanremo and it's kinda mandatory to do it (it's some sort of mos maiorum that comes from the '70s/'80s Ig). Some ppl also do FantaSanremo, which is basically just an alternative form of ludopathic betting game where you don't actually bet real money lol. But let's not talk abt Sanremo, ok? Please. However, I want to tell you abt what a beautiful anime HxH is (bc it is and can't tell me otherwise): I'm sooo sad 'cause I've only 3 episodes left to watch I'm CRYINGGG (and I'll be crying even more if Pariston becomes chairman instead of Leorio -pls imagine a remake of the "it's Mr Leorio" scene, but instead it is "it's Chairman Leorio": Kurapika would have a heart attack lmao-). Anyways, today I've also wandered a little bit around my neighbourhood -that literally seems like it's an abandoned place near Chernobyl help-, so I'm putting here some pics just so you can imagine the desolation. Byee (and pls tell me at least you aren't overwhelmed by studies!) :3

12th February 2025, Wednesday

Updatey updatey, eggs and bakey (I don't know what's wrong with me lmao). Today I feel miserable :3. YAY. Honestly, I don't even know how I managed to get all my homework done in only 3 hrs (yep, I have a lot of stuff to do and also kinda wanna buy a rope, just in case :D). BUUUT I've also finished HxH (pls I'm so sad dammit what am I gonna do now???). Honestly, the end didn'y disappoint, but I NEED MORE KURAPIKA (am I a simp? Yes. Am I ashamed of myself? Yes). I'd rlly want to know what do ppl who are reaidng this doing rn, but have no time to insert a comment section at the moment lol. I genuinely hope you're doing better than me bc I'm so done with this stuff tbh. It's not that I don't like studying Greek and Latin and 90 other subject, but I just need to figure out what I like and ehat's my objective, bc rn it just seems as if I was born to be bored and unsatisfied. Lately, I've been thinking a lot abt running away in the fields near my house. I'm gonna do it sooner or later (maybe in Summer, when I finally get my freedom back): I need an adventure, something spontaneous, without a particular objective (I hate having an objective in general: it makes me lose interest in what I do, even though it would be supposed to motivate me). I don't really think I'm suited to live in this society lol and Ik sooner or later something in the way I arrange my interests and studies in gonna snap and make me rethink my life -not too happy abt it, maybe-. I feel like a lot has changed from last year, and most definitely not for good (if "good" even means anything at all lmao): the world is staring to look washed out of its color and I don't even understand why I'm accepting this in the first place; I don't want to become a boring ass adult that only thinks abt generally "surviving", I want to see why we are even here in the first place and the reason life's worth living: I need a reason that isn't just "not to die". I am not a damn rat, even though I look like one -It's actually quite anthropocentric of me to claim to know what a rat thinks; I apologize to the rats-. Aaaand with that, I might be depressed. MIGHT. Thanks Italian education system :3. Imma go back to my hole and cry now, byeee :D!

P.S. How tf did this become some kind of phylosophical thing??? Bruh. Sorry for being serious, that's not smth I often do, but I had to vent a bit -in my honest opinion, it's better to be cringe on the internet than to ruin my youth: that would match so well with my not-so-cutesy-nice-lovely childhood, but I'd honestly rather not win the "life full of regrets" bingo, tysm for the offer!-. Now I'll be going (have to watch Sanremo and cringe even more: life goals), peace and prosper :DDD!

14th February 2025, Friday

Happy Valentine's Day! Not for me though, I'm at home and I have the flu (although my immunitary system is strangely js rlly strong appearently and I've healed almost completely in like 3 hrs lol). The most Valentine's Day-ish thing I've done today is literally watch Ouran Host Club lmao Imma be single for life (not even upset abt it rlly-). You know smth I am uspet abt though? Not being able to see Valentine's Day drama (I mean, I've never actually seen Valentine's Day drama and I just NEED it -yeah I love minding other ppl's business, problems bruvs?-). You know, being ill seems like a very nice thing rn: I needed a day off, not having to worry abt anything :D. Love y'all, bye! <3

15th February 2025, Saturday

Ohayou-gozaimasu (I've run out of intros, so Imma just start using other languages lol). I have a FUNDAMENTAL question for the ppl who are reading this (not that you can actually answer bc I0m too lazy to put a comment section here): do you go to school on Saturday? I do and it's kinda awful. I mean, even your PARENTS can stay home while you have to go to school?! Wht on Earth?! BUUUT it's not rlly that bad: I would stay home and study anyway, so it's pretty much the same. Rn I'm BOREDDD (but not just bored, more like existential-crisis bored): I still have lots of tests to prepare for, but I just can't be anxious for that just YET. I really do live in constant anxiety all the time, so I've lowkey got used to it. The problem is that most of my motivation for doing barely anything is being terrified of failure (what a mentally healthy person I am fr :3), so now I have no idea what to do. I have a Greek GRAMMAR test on Thursday (I can only translate but I'm so bad at Grammar for some reason *cough* maybe bc my memory is fucking shit and the only thing I'm decent at is logical thought *cough*), but I don't rlly feel anything: I'm just waiting until I'll be able to save myself from my inevitable doom at the last moment (always done that unfortunately, maybe because of the "main character of an action movie" kind of thrill, most likely bc I'm dumb af). Also, something actually interesting: lately I've been reading this very interesting Physics book by Carlo Rovelli; it mainly talks abt time and I rlly recommend it (even if you think Science is boring, it's not just abt that: you don't actually need to solve equations and stuff like that)! As much as I'd like to talk abt this book, I don't think I'd be able to explain things as accurately as Rovelli, so I'll just keep talking abt my depression-like situation :D. But not now, I have no time at the moment, so byeee!

16th February 2025, Sunday

I'm officially committing seppuku :3. No but fr I have a LOT of tests this week lmao, but most importantly I have to WRITE A TEXT for my Italian class. IstG I SUCK at writing and I also highkey kinda DESPISE it. I mean, I'm not so bad compared to some ppl I know, but I absolutely hate it. Usually, when I say this, ppl ask me: "Then why did you decide to go to a school that mostly teaches humanistic subjects???" and I would politely answer: " 1)Mind you own fucking business :D. 2)I'm a masochist. 3)Is there, perchance, a school that is actually not useless where I can rlly learn smth if we exclude the one I'm attending at the moment? No? Then go back to point 1". So now I have to write. Seppuku doesn't sound bad at all, y'know? Well, Ig I should start doing my homework lol. BUUT do you wanna know what do I have to write abt? No? You are going to anyway :3. We had to read some pages of "Beyond lies the wub" and "The angry Red Planet" (we're talking abt sci-fi, but we most definitely won't read anything I actually know like Farenheit 451 -yeah, no way we're reading that lol-), then we have to write our impressions on it (basically, we have to write abt the reasons and ways of violence against what is "alienus", so "different"). Now, it's time for Jar's magical quiz! Do you personally think there is a political subtext/message under this work? Yes? *bling bling* correct answer! Or most likely so... Our Italian literature professor is that teacher who says: "Don't get me wrong, we aren't talking about politics, let's not do that, right?" and proceeds to just talk for hours abt guess what? DAMN POLITICS. I'm pretty sure she's a leftist haha. This kind of behaviour is mostly diffused among leftists and extreme parties here in Italy. I remember that one time my English professor in middle school quoted Mussolini: lmao I was literally DYING (she kinda had that fascist aura tho...). The point is that I'm always the only one to get the references: I remember that my Greek teacher openly said in class that Giovanni Gentile was one of the best educators of the 1900s (Gentile is the one who instituted Riforma Gentile and formed fascist youth in Italy) and NOBODY BATTED AN EYELID; I needed to understand if I were surrounded by fascists or by ignorant people, so I asked one of my classmates an opinion abt that cutesy consideration and he was like: "Yeah, whatever". Are my fellas fascists??? *cries in Giovinezza*. But let's just not mention it anymore, k bruvs? You heard nothing *insert MIB neuralizer gif here*... How are you doing? Oh, you can't answer me. Right. Well, fair enough, gtg! Have a good existential crisis :3

17th February 2025, Monday

Greetings, I am going to eat a rock. Oh, but also idk what to say. Today was BORINGG: we did nothing at school and it was kind of a bad day. AND I STILL HAVE TO WRITE THAT THING FOR MY ITALIAN CLASS. But then again, there's a window in my room, isn't there? Might as well try a reenactment of the Defenestrations of Prague, 1618. It does look like a pleasant activity (I joke a but too much abt suicide, that's kinda concerning lol). Not rlly motivated to talk, sleep, breath nor exist today. Might have a mental breakdown breakdown (Diamond is Unbreakable op starts playing) later, idk :3. Probably no one's even reading all this shit, but I still write such fuckeries. Ig it's bc therapy is expensive and the school psychologist one of my parents' friends, so he's pretty useless lmao. L. Oh shit it's 5 pm time to write that shit for Italian. I hate myself and I wanna die (iykyk), byeeee! :3

18th February 2025, Tuesday

Ave, o amici! I've already had my existential crisis today, so I won't be threatening to suicide (maybe :P) -Idk in this period I have lots of mood swings lol-. I'm decently happy though, bc I've finished writing my essay for that one Italian class (it's been painful, ngl). Now then I have some time to focus on ANCIENT GREEK GRAMMAR (I hate myself :D). Byeeee (a triangle's piiii -Idk it rhymed-)!!!

P.S. I'm back, unfortunately. And I'm also BOREDD. I might have a Latin translation to do, but Cicero or whatever we're doing can wait a damn second :D. Do you want to read what I've done for my Italian class? I don't think you do, so I'm not sharing! Anyways, what should I even do to make my life less boring and not end up braking the law??? Ik that prisons here ain't that bad: if you're a minor they give you ICE CREAM. I mean, I might take the offer: ice cream, school's optional, you get one free crime to commit (Idk abt you, but arson be lookin' pretty fine :D), you can make new friends and you'll 100% do a lot of gym and become a bodybuilder or smth. What I just said has an USA aura that is actually quite thick. Well, this time I swear I'll just go back to my hole and not respawn again until tomorrow, byee (terracotta piee)!

19th February 2025, Wednesday

Kalè emèra, o etairoì moi! Sorry for the Ancient Greek: I have a test tomorrow and I'm trying to convince myself I'm intelligent enough to pass it lol. Anyways, I don't have particular news really. My friend introduced me to League of Legends though. That was nice! However, even though she's been playing for 2 years she doesn't even know how to attack lol. Skill issues my guys :3 (she's actually the best LoL player I know, being the only one -V, if you're actually reading this for any reason, I luv u :D-). That's basically everything I've done at school: reading my physics book, a Greek lesson, doing casual stuff with the school computers (I modified html sources from websites bc I was bored af) and reading A Midsummer Night's Dream during English class. Now that I remember, I DID NOT TALK ABT SANREMOO! Well, I guess I'll have to do it now. I was 100% NOT SATISFIED with the ending results of the votations and personally think that democracy is indeed one of the most useless forms of government ever invented. Idk if any of you saw it, but do you know who is going to damn EUROVISION this year? OLLY. Bro, I don't wanna be mean, but I didn't even fcking know who he was even after he won: I literally completely forgot abt his existence. And he won. Instead of my favsies LUCIO CORSI. Bruh, he was too good to win :(. He was so close to being first (0,4% I think), but NO. Do you remember how last year everyone said the votations were alterated and that Napoletan guy (I don't remember his name lol) had to win instead of Angelina Mango? Same thing bro, I swear! No one's talking abt it though, even if it's CLEAR OBVIOUS LAPALISSIANO dammit. Everyone in Italy loved Lucio and most of the other performances were soon forgotten, but NO: Olly's gotta win. I know that both Sanremo and Eurovision are 100% for political and commercial purposes and they're in NO WAY related to actual art (we live in a souless society lmao), but I'll still yap bc yapping is my reason to live. AND GO LISTEN TO LUCIO CORSI. DO IT. NOW. Sorry but wtf was that "Balorda nostalgia"??? I mean, it wasn't bad, but that good to win over Lucio's authenticity: he's the only person that sang a song in Sanremo that was definitely not Sanremo-style (=could perfectly fit into a commercial; either abt love, bitches who left you, discrimination and political stuff, etc.; the same fucking instruments for every single song played in a similar way that basically makes you feel like this isn't a show but a damn disco -I think you've understood what I mean, there's no point in continuing-). So please, before watching Olly and Balorda Nostalgia, listen to Lucio: both of them are good, but I definitely prefer Lucio over Olly (he wouldn't even be that bad if he didn't dare to bring De Andrè to the cover night: I happen to be quite passionate abt De Andrè's music and it kinda hurt my sould to see that he MODIFIED the lyrics of his song-don't get me wrong, it's good to have artistic freedom: I liked it when Alfa added a part to "Sogna, ragazzo, sogna" in his duet with Roberto Vecchioni, but that's bc it ACTUALLY made sense to do so; you can't just rewrite a song bc why not-). Aaaand, that's it. See you, byeeee (pebbles in my eye)!

21st February 2025, Friday

Hii, I've come back from the land of the dead just to greet you! Basically yesterday I had a TON of stuff to do so I couldn't write my entry lol. Also, I'm currently quite frightsadened bc of that Greek test (not sure it went 100% fantastic 10/10, so I'm anxious :3). My last few days have been completely TERRIBLE AWFUL in a "please shoot my right in the head" kinda way (lots of tests and stress yay). So, that's pretty much all that's happened (apart from me and a friend deciding to make cringe ffs during History interrogations and I think I might have discovered a talent of mine that was probably should've stayed hidden). Our class also developed a new religion: the cult of Shen Chao (a figure we got from a kinder egg) and I might have a photo of the little altar we keep during tests as well (Imma drop it to you at the end of the paragraph. Anyways, gtg, byeee (dropping photos of our altar rn)!!! Wait, is it illegal to put photos of your school online? Nvm, I'm sorry but my mother's gonna kill me if she finds out I did this, so you won't have the picture :( -extremely sorry-.

22nd February 2025, Saturday

Goooood morning Vietnaaaam! How are y'all doing (now you can actually tell me, bc I've put a comment section: see? I'm so fantastic :3)? I'm actually quite fine because I've already taken all the most difficult tests yayy. Now I only have Science and Maths left, which is mostly no problem (although STATISTIC ISTG IT'S SO DAMN BORINGG). Last time I got 10/10 in Maths, so I'm hoping to keep my streak (at least in the practice/written exams). I think I'll be doing a research abt neutrinos bc my Science book just dumps them there while talking abt nuclear fusion and it hurts my ass to see smth that isn't explained completely nor even considered. You told me there are neutrinos: wtf are those? A new burger at McDonald's duh (Imagine a neutrino burger though lmao)??? Anyways, I had another dream yesterday night: I dreamt I was on a school trip with my class and I bought a milkshake. It was a chocolate milkshake (it also seemed rlly noice and delicious tbh). And then my alarm clock rang. And I didn't even get the chance to have a sip. I despise alarm clocks :(. Now I have to continue studying though, byeee!!!

26th February 2025, Wednesday

Hey, I'm still alive (too bad :D)! Anyways, I have nothing very interesting to tell you. But I got 9/10 in Latin! Noice. I don't have many news, so I'll just go now, byee!

4th March, 2025, Tuesday

Ave bruvs, I'm not feeling rlly well lately. By that, I don't mean I'm sick: I'm just mentally drained. I have a huge problem: I hate being mid. I mean, I generally kinda distinguish myself for some of my qualities and that was very evident in middle school, but now it's just completely useless: there are no activities I enjoy doing anymore... Latin? We don't really do much. Greek? My memory is shit. Italian? Writing makes me feel miserable. Art? Is what we're doing at our school even art or justa stupid fucking waste of my damn limited time?! I just see the world as a grey fog: everything's completely mid. In my country there's actually a lot of fog, so I guess that my thoughts kinda match the atmosphere. Why is life even worth living? What makes it special? I just don't know anymore: we're just a little piece of a universe that's enormously extended: what are we even supposed to do here? What makes us different from machines? I just really don't get it. Maybe all of these problems are just here because we started to think about the meaning of the word "I". Fuck that. Today one of my classmates from middle school called me, but it was actually not on purpose I think: he put down the phone the exact moment I anwered (that's strange though: how can you not notice you've called the wrong number in literally half a minute? Literal skill issue). I want to go to the fields. I'm obsessing over this and I guess it's some kind of philosopical trip idk, I just want to be free of all my stupid duties and taste life again. Even a drop of life is good: anything that doesn't involve my current position. And with that, I think I'm gonna have a breakdown breakdown, bye :D

9th March, 2025, Sunday

Greetings, literally nonexistent people who are reading this. I feel awful as usual :3. I'm just wondering what is the meaning of life. Like, will ever be able to choose the perfect future for me? Does a perfect future even exist? Maybe you are destined to suffer in life and never be happy again. But is it really destiny? I mean, Death is a Destiny, but that does not mean that Destiny manipulates every aspect of our lives. Even so, I'm just scared of the future, as most people my age probably are. What if I fail? What if I'll never be able to do anything important? What if I'll be forgotten forever? What happens then? I am no philosophist, but I can't help but keep asking myself these questions :(. I definitely need a break from my main objective (if I even have one). I'd like to be a doctor in the future. No I wouldn't, dammit: I don't like the "being a doctor" kinda shit, but it does pay well and I'd have a lot of free time maybe. I mean, I like helping others, but after a while I just get bored. My dream was to become a physicist, but that wouldn't give me enough money to actually do anything else I like. Maybe. I don't know: I'm probably not intelligent enough to make any interesting discovery I guess. I've always wanted to be someone, but I'm just a little shit sitting in my bed and writing a stupid fucking diary. I feel like I've lost since the beginning of my life and just have to realize yet. Imagine growing up in a place that just constantly reminds you your dreams are useless because there are people who are better than you. This sounds selfish, but think about it: how can I be good at my job if just in my CITY there's someone better than me? Am I stupid? Am I worthless? I know I'm being a bit of a drama queen at the moment, but sometimes I actually do feel like this and it's awful. Why was someone born intelligent, good at art, talented while I'm just mid? Because, in the end, even if you're a topper in your school, you'll always be mid. Because extraordinary people are not many in the world. And I'm probably not part of that minority. And I feel like my existence is an insult to people who are better than me and every grain of self confidence I have is completely worthless and I will drown in my hubris because I said I did something good. Please, if someone is actually reading this, write me something: tell me at least you exist (sorry for begging though). Byeeee :D

11th March, 2025, Tuesday

I am BOREDDDD. Welp. On thursday I have a Greek test bruh, and then I have a English History test (I haven't even studied for that yet but let me cook). Anyways, I also have to act in a school play this year: we're doing Othello and I have to play Emilia (at least I don't have to sing, bc I would have DECOMPOSED if they asked to do so: let's just say my voice is not that pleasant, ok?). The play is actually so fckin short, which is good bc I have NO time to memorise all that stuff AND study. Haha. Haha. I'm in misery. So, luckily I already had a costume I can use for Emilia which is good bc I'm flat broke and I won't actually buy other useless stuff (except for expensive ass action figures: those are necessary for my well being). Fun fact! I'm probably the only person in my group who's ever been to a drama course, so I am afraid of the people I'll have to work with (probably we will get the "Haruhi performance at the Lobelia high school" kind of scenario lol, it would be both amusing and awkward af). So this is the situation here: not that good, not corner-suicide bad :3 Byeeee!

28th March, 2025, Friday

Ok, fuck this shit I'm outta this life bro. Sorry for the happy beginning, but I feel AWFUL today: this has been a terrible ass stressing week bc some idiot fucks have decided that, since we're doing NNLC (National Night of Liceo Classico) and we'll be at SCHOOL, until MIDNIGHT on the 4th of April, we shouldn't go to class on Saturday; that'd be good if I didn't have to stay at school for 1 whole ass hour more than I should've been, so I'm EXHAUSTED and FRUSTRATED af. Plus, I've shouted for 2 days straight basically, so now I have sore throat fuck this. Oh, and I also ate an absurd amount of chips at lunch bc yeah I have no fucking time to actually eat healthy and bullshit so Imma just suffer in silence. I should probably go get Aulin, but sufference fuels my productivity or maybe not and I'm just a masochist I don't give glazed fuck idk. Anyways, I'm bored, I hate myself, I've met a Bangladeshi girl who's prolly being forced to marry her cousin and I have a Greek oral test next week. I wanna hit my head on the wall until it fucking cracks open dammit. Idk why, but in this period I've become quite hostile bruh. What the fuck ever. This sore throat is KILLING me istG -I can't scream, that's why I'm doing it via Internet-. I also have a fucking headache right now *ungodly screaming*. Anyways, I have to go swimming on Monday for PE. I fucking hate my PE teacher, man: I wanna shove a gun up her ass and shoot until a bullet comes out on the top of her head :3. Like, this bitch is stupid as fuck frfr, she just decides to line up the fucking lessons with the girls' periods by doing three lessons in the time of 4 weeks, so that, obviously, If you're on your period in the 1st week, you're gonna be even during the last lesson. I wouldn't give a single damn fucking grain of shit if she didn't automatically give a 4/10 or less to ppl who attend less than half the lessons. Plus, PE ACTUALLY IS A RELEVANT SUBJECT AS FOR GRADES VALUTATION. IstG, I have nothing against Gentile, but BITCH FUCK YOUR ASS WHY IN THE EVER LIVING SHIT DID YOU HAVE TO INTRODUCE PE AS A SIGNIFICANT SUBJECT AT SCHOOL IN THIS UNGODLY WORLD I HOPE THE PARTISANS GOT YOUR ASS AFTER FASCISM DAMN YOU DESERVED TO BE IN PIAZZALE LORETO WITH YOUR FUCKING DICTATOR YOU ASS. Sorry for the pure rage moment :D. Fuck you, Gentile. Damn fascist whore. After this quite intense entry -that's why I don't usually write journals: I'm not very coquette and aesthetic, bruh-, I have to salute you all. May you bathe in the blood of your enemies and drink from their skulls while you feast on the corpses of their murdered, dismembered heirs. Byeeee!

30th March, 2025, Sunday

Fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it. As you may see, I am in complete misery. Why? Because I got an 8-/10 in Grammar and I hate myself :3. You'll say I'm overdramatic, but I hate getting grades that are under my expectations and I feel like a walking trashcan at the moment: I don't really need validation from grades, I leave that shit to those dumb fucks posting study tips on socials. How I fucking hate those people IstG: they're al like "omg I'm getting straight A's with this incredible method -that, spoiler, doesn't fucking work you dipshits- and it's not hard at all, like look at all my grades and how nice they are". Bitch, if you think that studying with AI will change your life, then go for it, but it's going to teach you mainstream shit that's utterly useless. Plus, idk what's wrong with these people: how are you such a dumb ass whore if you get such good grades? Is it because USA's educational system would pass anyone who knows where Washington DC is or that can calculate how many glazed doughnuts their desk measures?? Idfk and Idfc (but mostly Idfk). So, I guess I'm useless and I'm a piece of shit, I'm childish and I should grow up and stop thinking only about myself, I should start focusing on my (nonexistent) objectives, I should start caring about others as much as I care about me because I'm a selfish fuck, I should stop insulting people because I'm actually angry at myself and I should become a "better person". But what the fuck does that even mean??? How the shit can I become a "better person" if I stop just existing? I literally have to take care of myself and I should try to understand others as well?! Wtf, man, I am not rlly good at, y'know, empathy, but I feel like an insensible shit every time I stop caring abt others to focus on myself. Because, the truth is that I know why I'm doing some things, I know the reason behind my general sadness and lazyness, but knowing the cause of smth doesn't fucking help beating the crap out of it and sending that fuckery away from my head. And I'm also afraid of being normal. I want to do something in life, but, like, somthing important, becuase what do I even do if I don't do something memorable? Being normal is already being a failure, I have to be more than normal. I MUST be more than normal. That's actually a very unhealthy thought. I'd like to just cut it with all this. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, I'm just existing. I envy a lot people who actually like studying, because at least they enjoy what they're doing and they're even doing something "useful". Sometimes, I wish my mother had a better daughter: someone who enjoys her life and that doesn't make her feel like she's torturing her when she has to study or smth. She deserves it, I probably shouldn't be here anyways: the world is not made for me, because I have no place in it. Even though the idea of having a place on Earth scares me an I despise it. I'll just go now, thanks for reading this if you are. Byeeeee!

2nd April, 2025, Wednesday

FREEDOM, LIBERTE', LIBERTAS, LIBERTA', FREIHEIT, 自由!!!!!! I've had my Greek oral test todayyyy!!! :DDDDDD I'm happy, but also disappointed tbh: I got a 9.5/10, that's pretty decent, but I was hoping for a 10 (I got some irregular verbs wrong bc my memory just refuses their fucking alternative asses: I mean, why do you have to feel different from all the other verbs???! Wtf??!). Anyways, at least now I'm free from stress and I only have some written exams left (but I have to procrastinate rn: no time anything else, thanks). Friday I have NNLC (so basically our school/class play) and I'm still not sure I've learnt my lines lmao. Btw, have you ever listened to the Italian dub of Yu-Gi-Oh GX's OP? It's FIRE ngl (and I'm not even a huge Yu-Gi-Oh fan): go listen to it bc Giorgio Vanni is part of my childhood (I still got to enjoy some of his song even though I was born in 2010, yep). But let's go back to the fact that I'm sad bc I got 9.5 instead of 10. I think it's some kind of pathological thing: like, I always lowkey "have" to be the best: I always just catch myself thinking shit like: "Yeah, but if I'm not the best, am I worthless then? I mean, if there's someone better than me, what's my purpose?". I know these questions are dumb asf, but my brain just automatically implants stuff in itself without my consent and idk what to do abt it lol. Stupid thoughts apart (if you ever had these thoughts as well, I'd like to tell you are definitely a beautiful person :D!), I'd rlly like to get to know 03 better. He's still the only one who can compete with me (and, sometimes, he actually does better than me -which lowkey pisses me off, because he comes from a private middle school that was basically our "rival" lol-). I'm boredddd. Wth why am I always bored??? I want to do fun stuff as well, but literally I have nothing to at home. I should start skateboarding again: the last time I actually did it I fell without my helmet and got an awful bruise on my hip lmao :P (it was fun, but I couldn't sleep on my side for like one week haha). I should DEFO retry this Summer or during Easter holidays :). Oh, I also forgot to mention smth else: on saturday I went to a friend's house and we played Resident Evil 7! Not the whole game, obviously, bc it's long af (11h generally, I think). Can I tell you Mia is a complete bitch?! Like, ok, you didn't send me the message that told me to come to this house full of psychopaths, but you didn't even care to tell me to escape alone bc you already were infected bro... and then you dare to attack me, whore?! We love you Mia, but wtf was that damn jumpscare bruh. I screamed for 1 hour straight the most incomprehensible slurs (I get quite un-family friendly when I play these games lol) while my friend who already finished the game was laughing her ass off (there were also other friends of mine: two refused to take part to the game and started playing casual music bc they were scared and another one didn't want to use the controller bc she said she was shit at video games -fyi, I had never picked up a controller before in my whole life bc my mother doesn't want me to play games in general :3-). Aaaaand that's it, basically. I'm stupid, Mia should get a fucking life and see you next time, byeeee!

P.S. My Italian teacher is kind of an asshole :3

7th April, 2025, Monday

Chat, I'm cooked. I am literally swimming in an ocean of shit. I have 3 tests this week and more are yet to come and spoiler I have studied NOTHING. In my mind, there is the black incomprehensible void. Or kind of. I mean, I've just lost all my motivation, so I see no alternative but to cry in my bed hoping for divine intervention to save my procrastinator ass. Even though I've studied a bit. A BIT. Ok, I am so so screwed. Eh, whatvesies, I'll do it anyways. Maybe. I hate procrastinating bc it's like being locked in a cage that doesn't let you move into the real world, but you don't even care abt it because the real world is a cage itself. It's just awful, because maybe I could be happy without this little itsy bitsy flow of mine. Even though procrastinatinating lead me to create this blog and I don't know how many ppl my age may say they've mastered card throwing or tried lightsaber fighting. I just find any excuse not to do my work and focus on the minor quests lol. Help me why am I like this :(. I have a terrible headache, too. Also, I'm bored asf and I am NOT going to study for my science test (which, btw, is tomorrow :D) right now. I just want this hell to end because I have lots of things to do and I will NOT for the love of God stand this any longer. I am literally DONE, EXHAUSTED. But this is actually nothing new: basically, I write this in every entry. BUT DAMMIT I'M FEELING IT RIGHT NOW I WANT TO END THIS ASAP. Aaaaaaaaah. Ok, the internal screaming was necessary. Why do we have to live in constant pain? Why are our moments of joy just a break between our frustration. Ok, chill Leopardi. Anyways, I hate everything at the moment. I want to dismember someone. I swear why do I have to work?! Like, isn't it already difficult enough to live, bitch?! Plus, my PE teacher decided to place a test after Easter holidays. That whore. Who the fuck even gives a glazed shit about theorical PE, you expired sexy shop coupon?! WHO?! Give me ONE name and I'll just exterminate their family. That solidified cum jelly better find another job because fr I swear I'll hit her with a fucking tennis racket and I'll give her something to bitch about instead of us walking "slowly" while we're carrying like 30 different bags. I just can't express with words how much I hate some people. She's so damn irritating IstG. Is it like a tradition or smth for PE female teachers to be fucking annoying?! You can't even get her fired bc you can't send someone home for being a bitch. Even though I'd justify that. Who in world even hired that old broken trashcan as a teacher, bro?! I just don't get it. Some people are imbeciles frfr. I should go study history. Fuck history tbh rn, I just want a damn break. I hate my school, but it's not really that bad actually. I mean, I like my classmates, but I despise the principal, some of the teachers, the minister of education, PE, annoying people, the fact we have to pay to fucking breathe, etc. (it would just take too long to list everything). But still, I'm doing fine. I guess. Byeeeee!

8th April, 2025, Tuesday

I AM BOREEDDDDDDD. Help me please, I'm literally dying of boredom dawg. Idk what to do (I should study, but will I? Nitrogen Monoxide). Anyways, I've done my Science test and got 56/60. I mean, not bad but could've been better. My teacher is lowkey stupid though, so 2 of my errors were actually just a misinterpretation of the shit that goes on in his monocellular brain (that neuron be fighting for his life fr). Still, I am bored indeed. I have a History test and a Math test as well, but it's really not that much of a deal. I just gotta memorise a bunch of stuff for History (we had like 50 page to study, so it's not really THAT extreme lol: I've done worse -flashback to that one time when I didn't bring my History notebook to school and the teacher decided it was time to explain 80 pages in 1 hour lmao. And that was middle school-). Rn we're studying the Peloponnesian War and Alexander the Great -I might write smth abt that maybe, but I'm not sure. I'll just do that if I find smth good to write abt-. We've also started Ancient Rome in class and my friend got to learn all of my Rome-related study trauma (in other words. I still remember stuff from primary school bc my mother made me study entire books abt Roman history and I fagocitated them as if they were those vitamin candies the doctor told you to eat once a day. Bad times fr, I kinda hated lockdown only bc of that: my mother was 20 times stricter than my actual teachers help-). Anyways, gtg study (if I can find my motivation, which seems to be absent today, though). Byeeeeee!

11th April, 2025, Friday

IT'S OVER BITCHESSSS!!! I made it to the HOLIDAYSSS! Unbelievable, wow... Basically, Ester holidays start on Thursday, so now that I've finished all of my important tests (maths and history) I am finally able to focus on actually existing! Yayy! I don't rlly know what to say tbh. Also, I've made almost no contact with 03 lol. Idk I just feel like a pick me whenever I talk to boys bruh (Ik it's kinda unhealthy). My math test was a complete shit, while I think I did pretty well in history. Even though I feel like I'm not worthy of actual praise bc it's not like I put effort into anything. In general. I don't know, it's just that I'm surrounded by ppl who love studying and I'm just an ignorant prick standing here and absorbing notions, but it's not like I'm intelligent or anything: I was just born in an environment that makes ppl get good grades. Which does not mean they're intelligent. Idk, I'm just confused Ig. I think I'm just the shadow of my ancestors and I'm not even a grain of what they used to be. Usually, to cheer me up, I think my ancestors were most likely ignorant plebes, but still... You know when you feel useless just bc someone's better than you at smth? I know, I should stop obsessing over being The Best bc that only brings ppl to mental illness. But I'm already mentally unstable, so fuck that honestly :3. Anyways, I still feel free: just, fuck being better than others. I do not care. Repeat that with me: I do not care. Gtg have a mental breakdow rn, byeeeee!

12th April, 2025, Saturday

Hullo, how u doing?? I'm actually doing quite fine. I have come to the conclusion that grammar is fundamental not to be understood, but to be respected. Are you ever going to believe to someone who confuses they're, their and there? I don't think so. Sometimes, I happen to read stuff that makes sense but is grammatically incorrect, hence it sounds stupid. Honestly, I probably do lots of grammar errors in English (it's not my first language and I haven't even finished high school, so I guess I'm excused): I hope this does not affect your judjement of me. Yeah, that sentence sounds like shit. Okay, I think my braincells are leaving my body rn. Oh, but I haven't told y'all that I've discovered a new method to calculate the square roots of basically any number :D. I won't explain the whole thing to you, but I sent a mail to a maths professor/major/whatever the heck you call it and he told me I did discover smth new! That's pretty neat because now I can say I've made my first "official" discovery at 14 years old, which is decently impressive imo (I actually had a similar moment of illumination at 9-10 years old, but there was already a law of engineering that described and explained my hypothesis that time). Anyways, let's just stop flexing and get to the salutations (is "salutations" even a real word or did I make it up? Idk, I usually say I love creating neologisms so no one can come at me for being illiterate lol). Byeeeeeee!

13th April, 2025, Sunday

Gluten Tag! For the first time this year I've finished all of my hw in time yayy! Please, a round of applause for my effort ty :). Anyways, I told my friend all the incredibly wow experiences I had with 01 and 02 and she literally exploded: she wants me and 02 to get together bruhh (never in this ungodly world: I'll never get with that asshole lol). I told her abt our shoujo manga moments and she thought we were rlly cute together and I can't deny it, but he's a complete idiot and not in a good sense. I even told her of that time me and 01 were in Oxford and it was raining, but we only had one umbrella so we walked together like an actual couple (and my friends took pictures of us back then I'm cryingg). Embarassing, literally. I've basically had romantic relationships without knowing I was in them, I'm stoopid. So, I'm telling you this bc 02 plays rugby and my friend is going to see him (probably) this Wednesday at a match and she told me she's gonna ask him if he liked me. I am going to bury myself alive. But seriously though, I wanna know just because... (Actually, just so I can flex to ppl the fact that I'm single just because I chose to be). Gtg now, see ya! Byeeeeeee!

P.S. Why tf is everyone so good at programming here?! Damn, my site actually kinda sucks lol. I mean, I'm 14 and I've barely touched a computer before this, but I have serious issues with motivetion haha (if I'm not good at smth when I first try it, I most likely just abandon it -it's an awful flaw, Ik, but I'm trying to get better!-)

23rd April, 2025, Wednesday

Well, hello and Oh phuck, guys! Tomorrow I have a Greek test but my brain isn't braining. I'm starting to enter in a depressive phase or smth idk. I just don't feel like existing today. Or, like, ever. Maybe it's just serial procrastination (remember the name of my account lol)... Anyways, I am bored as shit and I'd just like to take a nap for a bit or smth. Or do math. Somehow, I find regular algebra quite relaxing: it gives you problems to think abt to get away your actual worries for a while. Sometimes I just casually open my math book and start doing casual exercises. Well, damn: this just reminded me of the terrible math test I took a while ago and that didn't go exactly as planned (by "as planned" I mean a 10/10 test lol). I'm bored, I lost my passion and I rlly just need a break. Gtg, byeeee!

26th April, 2025, Saturday

Dzień dobry, my friends (I don't even know Polish lol, I'm just running out of intros). Sooo, I'm basically on holiday. Yay. BUT I'm not rlly on holiday, bc I have lots of tests this week (again). Like, it's April/May GODDAMMIT would you kindly fucking STOP giving students stupid ass shit to do?! If you can't use a fricking schedule why are you even teaching people what to do?! Idfk anymore, man... Anyways, my friend rn at the Jubilee. In Rome. She is basically treated like a damn convict bro: she went there with her church and there are like 4300 guys, with just 15 bathrooms and no showers, for 3 days. Also, there are like 60 people per room. Yesterday she sent me a photo of her and another bunch of guys literally RAIDING a KFC bruhh (the poor workers were prolly on the verge of suicide lmao). Plus, she went to Rome not only during the Jubilee, but there were also the Pope's funerals and the 25th of April (national festivity) taking place. Help I wouldn't survive one day there. Meanwhile, I'm bored at home trying to figure out how to beat the shit out of bosses in Honkai Star Rail. Ok, gtg now, byeeeee!

28th April, 2025, Monday

Hello everyone and welcome back to a new episode of "I am a lazy ass: season 76"! I am srsly so fucking TIRED these days... I rlly do need a break. Or maybe I don't. Idk abt y'all, but here in Italy we have lots of festivities at the moment: 1st March is the next one. I mean, I can't rlly complain: I love staying at home, but it just makes no damn sense to have so many 1 day holidays and it's literally confusing asf D:. I honestly don't even know what tests do I have to do next (today I had a theorical PE test: IstG why tf do you have to study THEORY in fucking PE?! Give me at least ONE Godforsaken subject where I don't have to worry abt study, is it THAT HARD?!). Gtg now: it's pretty late and I have to shower bc I'm not a Discord admin, byeeeeee!

29th April, 2025, Tuesday

G'morning men and women and neither and both! Today I actually feel quite well (rare non canonic event fr) :DD. My friend finally got back from the Jubilee and she told me about all her pain and suffering (btw, there's this guy which is 1 year younger than her that, she said, either flirted w/ her in a very strange-ew-go-touch-grass kinda way or is just a stupid asshole. Well, let's say those are really two different approaches lol). Btw though, do y'all guys know this English idiot journalist called Coren Giles or smth? No bc he was featured in my English book (in an interview/listening), but I made the fatal error of googling his name and I found out he's racist against the Polish, he was accused on mysogyny and I think he was sued for leaking co-workers' e-mail and threatening them, he made some quite insulting comments against Northern African counties and joked about killing and raping a 12yo. Bruh, I hope my book is outdated and the authors didn't know abt this help-. Anyways, gtg now: byeeeeee!

2nd March, 2025, Friday

Hola! Como estas? I'm not mucho fine, today. You know, I just feel like I'm not enough: I'm finding school a bit more difficult than usual and I'm afraid I might be a stupid pretentious fuck, claiming to know everything and always being the best. Maybe, I'm not that special at all. What is the meaning of life if you are "normal" though? Maybe everyone starts their lives by being "special", but then we all just start to bleed out our essence and we become useless adults, mere pieces of meat whose value resides more into their organs than into their soul: we become a stock piece, a number, a machine. At first, we were details of a marvellous painting, but now we're just bricks in a wall that separates us from greatness. The fuck, did I just make a Pink Floyd reference? Oh no, my poetic depressed ass self was too pissed and went away D:! Devastating. But I'm serious: why do I feel worthless whenever I make even a little mistake?

9th March, 2025, Friday

Hullooo. How's it going? I feel terrible and I'm literally tired asf D:. Today we had almost 3 hrs of Greek I am DYINGG. Now, don't come to me telling stuff like: "Yeah, but mythology, but Percy Jackson...". First of all, I jonestly think Percy Jackon sucks. Doxx me, go burn my house, idc: it's just not my thing, even though, if y'all like it, I respect it. The only movie I'm allowed not to respect is Twilight: like, come on... Y'all ain't watching that stuff fr right??? Let's not forget that basically that vampire guy (I don't even remember his name lmao) is technically a pedo: I get that the age gap between him and basically any human would be absurd, but she's 16??? Whatever, I was telling you about how bored, exhausted and tired of studying I am rn. Yeah, I'm not even writing a full entry bc I gotta go back to doing my hw. Lowk wanna explode. Oh, and I've also been considering to restart skateboarding! That'd be fun :D. But I have no time atm D:. Gtg now, byeeeeee!

10th March, 2025, Saturday

Hakuna Matata ragazzi, I'm back from the land of the dead (school)! I've just spent like twenty minutes learning what logarithms are (don't dare to think I'm ignorant: the point is that, in my school, we focus on humanistic subjects mostly. You have no idea how confusing it is to learn ancient languages: especially Greek! Plus, I've only finished my 1st year of high school, so Ig it's lego legis legit -bad pun, I know: I just wanted you to suffer a little :D-). Math isn't so bad ngl. I'd like to pick up my skateboard again next week, bc Summer's starting and I'm preparing for HOLIDAYSSSSSSS, so I'd just like to start over (possibly wearing a helmet and not attempting suicide this time :D) bc I haven't practised since December (yep, that time I fell and my lungs left the chat for a not so short moment). I think I'll be able to land a shuvit in no time (if I die in the attempt, please write this as my epitaph lol). Gtg get bored now: see ya, byeeeeeee!

11th March, 2025, Sunday

Ohayou guys, how y'all doing? Yesterday evening I went skating in my street, but I have a huge problem: ALL of my neighbours have dogs (I'm not even joking bro: they're EVERYWHERE!). Now, if those dogs were calm, there'd be no problem, but obviously they aren't: when I rode my skate near the houses they all started barking and they wouldn't stop even when I decided to stop so I wouldn't bother the neighbours. Like, what even is up with dogs and skateboards, man?! What, do they think Imma ollie tf into their courtyard and threaten people to kickflip on their faces if they don't give me their money?! Whatever, it was still fun even though I almost fell of in front of an old couple walking their dogs (which obviously barked at me. Do I look like a fucking serial killer to you or anything bro?!). I don't even know why I'm embarassed abt this: it's completely normal to fall and you're lucky if you only get a couple of bruises sometimes lol. People in my neighbourhood still judje me though: I saw two elderly women looking at me skating with a bit of disgust and whisper something along the lines of:"Ach, youngsters today! They got nothing better to, huh?". I felt kinds like that time when an old bigot in church told us we should be ashamed of not taking the communion and that we should go confess to the priest. Like, bitch what?! Am I not free to express my faith in my own way? What u gonna do, burn me alive in public for committing heresy? Lmao. Idk, but I think that Jesus looks at these ppl the way famous singers look at fangirls bruh. Gtg study Latin now, byeeeeee!

13th March, 2025, Tuesday

Sooo, hey guys, I'm back... today I had a really strange morning at school. Basically, at first I was alone at school with another guy bc we couldn't go to our class's school trip (they went in a natural reserve or smth and I'm terribly allergic to pollens, while he had a back surgery I think). Anyways, the first 2 hours were pretty normal, then the classmate I was with went home and I was left alone in my class. It wasn't long until they told me I could go to another section (3C), so that's what I did. Well, during Physics class a girl rushed out of the class. At first everyone, especially me, was confused. After a while, it came out that a friend of hers in another school had jumped out of the window and they had to call the ambulance. I didn't understand a single thing of what happened, but I heard he was trying to suicide. Don't worry, I heard he isn't badly injured, but I still wanted to share this with you, because this experience felt literally unreal for me. I'm probably not the one who should be talking about this in general, but I still thought this episode was at least worth mentioning.

Still, tomorrow we'll have 1 hour of Literatureeee wtff I AM GOING TO EXPLODEEEEEE *crying in a corner*. Bro, you have no idea of HOW I FUCKING HATE SUBSTITUTE TEACHERS THESE DAYS. LIKE, IT'S GODFORSAKEN MAY WTF DO YOU EVEN WANT FROM ME GOSHHH STOPPP! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR SHIT ABOUT THE ENEAD RN I WANT TO FUCKING TRANSLATE GODDAMN GREEK AS OUR SHITHOLYFUCKING PROFESSOR SHITFUCKING TOLD US TO DO, YOU OILY DWAYNE JOHNSON'S EYEBROW! I am FUCKING QUITTING. I do NOT want to hear my Italian teacher's voice until fucking Thursday, capeesh?! I'm not saying I hate her subject (even though I lowk do bruh), I'm saying I've listened to her rambling for 2 NEVERENDING HOURS today and I REALLY don't wanna hear it tomorrow and the day after tomorrow as well brooo. Gtg now, byeeee!

14th March, 2025, Wednesday

Hey bros, how you doing today? I am fucking not. Like, in general. NO. Fucking end my incompetent ass already. My allergy is killing me, I have lots of tests this and next week, I've lost the willpower to do basically anything andd that's it. Just let me go on holiday the shit. WE HAVE 2 HOURS OF LITERATURE TOMORROW I AM GOING TO CRYYY :(. That's basically all the news I have. I don't even wanna do anything anymore I just need to REST (in peace). Gtg have a mental breakdown breakdown, byeeeeee!

18th March, 2025, Sunday

Goodmorning, my overly saturated sugary bread crumbs! I'm here to announce my demise :D. Next week I have basically one test a day and I really just wanna ragequit existing. Yesterday I've watched the Eurovision finals and honestly WHAT THE HECK?! Like, Austria was good but Lucio Corsi only arrived FIFTH??? What judjes did they let vote bruh??? Whatever, I still won FantaEurovision lol. Also, I'm BORED I HAVE NOTHING TO DOOO. I don't even know why I've created this website in the first place, since prolly most of the visitors are bots but whatever. Help, I literally have nothing to tell y'all, I'm sorry :(((. (Sad) byeeeeee!

Linksiesss again <3

Diary of an overdramatic teenager (bear with me, pls)